IM BACK (probably)

holy shit its been a while

Basically i had a crazy ass summer and may or may not have bothered to write anything here because i’ma ¬†lazy shit, so here’s the last 3 odd months in fast forward.

I broke up with my Girl Friend and got a lot of shit for it

I went to turkey, and jumped off a mountain because it was amazing

more things happened that are pretty insignificant 

apart from Thorpe park, which is always amazing

then i went back to school, drowned in work then got saved by the most amazing girl I have ever met (that’s all you’re getting on that, I have a new girlfriend, she is amazing, that is all you need to concern yourself with)

several metal / pop punk gigs happened and i got hit in the face a lot, then broke through the floor of a venue. because metal.

and that brings us roughly up to now, when i finally updated my blog with more nonsense that no body reads.
expect more horror stories (but not terrible this time) and even less proof reading.

love as always

the magical pastie x



hey hey


just though i would update you guys quickly as to why i am being pretty crappy with my sort of every sunday pattern, its basically because I have my As levels, but fear not!

i have half term next week and some pretty awesome horror ideas to run through you guys and see how you react ūüôā

love from a distance as always

the magical pastie. x

so this blog now has a purpose

so yea, as some of you may recall, I wrote, or rather made an attempt at writing a horror short. I was expecting this to go the way of other posts and fall on dead ears, but it actually had a bit of a response, with someone actually re blogging it (crazy, i know).

SO here’s the plan. on the first Sunday of every month i will try damn hard to provide a new horror story for you guys, if all of those go well i will start up a¬†separate¬†blog for them so it’s easier to read them all in one place without teenage angst¬†getting¬†in between. Most of these stries will be based on matters of the mind and madness, especially¬†mental¬†conditions and the loss of self¬†control¬† but i will pretty much be writing whatever scary things i can think of and seeing what gets the best responses from you guys.

Thanks again for giving me the push to actually do this for you,¬†I’ve¬†been considering writing for a¬†while¬†now and this has really encouraged me to actually get some of my work out there for people to read rather than¬†immediately¬†deleting it. so thanks for that ūüôā

that shall be all this time


the magical pastie x

two weeks alone, one month until a levels, zero hours of revisison.

ahoyhoy internet peoples

so yea, as you may know already, in England anyone over the age of about 15 mortally fears the dates between about the first of April and the end of June, this is not due to some sort of horrific ceremony of permanently attaching a top hat to their heads, and replacing their blood with tea (that happens on your 18th birthday) but because of the horror that is exams (dun dun DUUUUUUUN). Basically rather than using exams to check if we have learned stuff like they are supposed to be used, these two hour long data vomiting sessions now decide the outcome of your entire life, and frankly its a bit silly.

basically universities say that in order to study a certain course with them then you need a set of three letters (most of the time not related to anything) that determine how well you can brutally force information in to your brain, fueled by only coffee and dubstep at 3AM in the morning, before regurgitating that knowledge back on to some paper, kind of like filling a¬†balloon¬† with really chunky pasta sauce, then letting go of the neck and aiming it at a canvas, hoping that the result looks a bit like the mona lisa. At A – level… level… we have to learn 4 subjects to a pretty high level in order to do well in these exams and get the necessary¬†grades to go study one thing at uni, Universities sometimes (and usually incorrectly) separate these subjects in to ‘soft’ (art, DT, interpretive dance, underwater basket weaving) and ‘hard’ subjects (science and maths (but not psychology, because:


but anyway, apart from that it doesn’t really matter what subjects you choose, so long as they are ‘hard’, to the extent that university entry requirements have begun to sound like badly scripted porn, always asking for harder and harder subjects. But studies have shown that all these exams don’t actually mean we remember things better, someone could get 100% in an exam, then a month later, or in my case 30 seconds after finishing, not remember a thing about the subject. I got a solid A in history, and yet now i can barely recall anything that we learned, that data space in my brain has been filled with song lyrics, internal rants and movie quotes. So why don’t we go all Finnish on the education system, with only one exam when students are 16, apart from the occasional topic test, and then train people for specific jobs once they apply. For proof that it works just look at how happy the Fins are…

and the answer, as with most things¬†British¬† is that it’s tradition to drill information into our skulls so we can robotically repeat it on the whim of any teacher who dares question our knowledge of Pittite economic policy (Google¬†it, its fascinating…). Its the same with most of our crazy traditions that don’t really make sense (queuing,¬†ridiculous¬†language rules, the school house system… even in non boarding schools, bear baiting, degrading the lower classes and casual racism towards anyone [or thing] who ‘looks a bit foreign’) we are so scared to grow up and accept that breaking some traditions may actually be a¬†good thing (shock and awe ensue) we, as people, have learned that change is bad. I think that this is because we assume we are too weak ¬†minded to actually adapt ourselves to this break from normality if it ever happens, despite how¬†ridiculous¬†we look (i mean think how stupid the segregationists in australia look these days, then go look at a picture of an anti gar parade, notice any similarities) ¬†we assume that we wont be able to keep up with change and so we resist it.

so to summarize, that was a really long rant about how A Рlevels can go lick a bug zapper.

This was a public service announcement brought to you by:

the magical pastie 

try to read this without music (unless you normally have music… then turn music on and try and read)

Greetings, faceless peons of the abyss

I was at work the other day at the wonderfully glamorous establishment of J.D. wetherspoons, lymington, clearing plates of microwaved pre-heated food into a bin full of other microwaved, pre-heated food and generally being anyone who was sat a tables bitch when it suddenly struck me how damn quiet the damn place was, i’m used to the place being really noisy and, ya know, generally like a wetherspoons bar, but today was different. Despite the place being nearly full there was only a light buzz of conversation, no shouting, no laughter, and no drunken singing (much to¬†everyone’s¬†disappointment) and i¬†realized¬†just how uncomfortable i was with the lack of noise. I mentioned this to another woman who was on shift and a fair bit more senior to me, and she said that she loved nothing more than when the bar was all quiet and dull like this, which prompted an interesting and useless debate in my head which i will share with you all right now. The question was this:¬†why the hell do teenagers always need noise?

and i came up with many fascinating and obscure tangents involving evolution and awkward, drunken love children of two psychological theories which were never supposed to be mixed, but they are simply too crazy to shoot in to the ether willy – nilly, so i will tell you the one which makes some kind of sense to most people ( i hope)

The idea was that we have been brought up with permanent noise, not¬†necessarily¬†talk but music, or traffic outside, or the tv or the almost¬†tangibly grey drone which politicians emit on a daily basis¬†… the list goes on forever as to what noises we hear throughout the day, and this is why, when we are actually in a place which isn’t constantly feeding our ear holes with useless sound, we feel like it is quiet.¬†To quiet,¬†almost any situation these days can be turned awkward or just straight up eerie by a lack of sounds, and hence the title.

For people who do always have music on to break the¬†silence¬†(such as myself (in case anyone was wondering the current song is:¬†the bitch that stole my wife, by chancery blame and the gadjo club, i can¬†strongly¬†recommend)) then you will have noticed by now the inherent sense of discomfort gained from the lack of usual stimulus to your ears. And people who¬†don’t¬†need music to function when alone, i am simply curious to see if you have the same reaction, but in reverse YES, YOU HAVE BEEN MY UN KNOWING LAB RATS ALL ALONG MWAHHAHAHA…¬†ahem… anyway, if you do feel the same, go ahead and comment, go on, humour me.

Love and Kisses from the land where the sun never shines (England)

The magical Pastie x

i would love to write a longer first post, but noodle cat calls to me from the fathoms of the internet.

GREETINGS, faceless readers in the abyss (wow i’m cheery)

so yea, this is a blog… about what i think about stuff… expect may ellipses…¬†lots of italics (and probably some brackets).

so the idea behind me making a blog is that i’m bored, and need something else to add to my ever more elaborate procrastinatory tools, so posts may be long, rambling roads to nowhere. Especially if I have work that i¬†absolutely¬†have to do right now…. but can still wait a little longer.

I thought a suitable theme for this post, then, would be procrastinating, and why we actually do it, i mean we all know that whatever we need to do needs doing well, with time to spare so it can be practiced / rehearsed / proof read / etc. so we are truly happy with what we do. And yet we still insist that sitting on our arse all day looking at silly pictures of cats eating noodles (yes, they exist, and yes, they are beautiful) is a far better use of our time than actually succeeding at whatever¬†endeavors¬†we set out to do. Personally i would like to think that it is because as people we crave instant gratification,yes if we spend all night on our course work we will do better and have a stronger chance at succeeding at life and stuff, but life is so damn far away in our eyes. Right this moment we want to watches fat people fall over with a glazed expression on our face, whilst eating generic sugar coated sweets (which¬†definitely¬†are not related to or¬†affiliated¬†in any way with the brand smarties). we as people fail to see the long term affects of our acts far more than wwe offten appreciate. This can be applied to so many other things as well; for example some of the things my ”friends” say, it may seem like a funny joke at the time, but they dont seem to appreciate that saying something isn’t like shooting a target with an arrow, a one time thing that happens and is done, but more like dropping an object of unknown weight in to a pool of questionable deapth. They don’t know the full impact of what they are about to say, no one truly can, and its affect could be far more drastic than anyone could ever have planned for…

wow, I really do get sidetracked when i start thinking 

i would love to write you a wonderfull essay rant (wressay? errant? essant? the possibilities are endless…) but noodlecat is calling me and i must appease his will


’till next time, peons¬†

the magical pastie ūüėÄ