untitled #1

As you may have guessed from the title, this horror short dos not yet have a title, but feel free to make suggestions, its a sort of half continuation of nightmares in that it shares the same sort of themes, but that’s about it. I have decided with this one to go for a more fast-paced type thing looking at our generalized fear as humans or lack of control over the world, and how people seem to react when they lose control of their internal as well as external view of the world. So, here we go again, enjoy

 

You know, it seemed like things were going well with my life, it really did. I had a decent relationship with my parents and brother, and this spectacular girl at work and I had gotten rather close in the last couple of weeks, I was as on top of the world as a lower – middle class 18 year old could be. Externally that’s all people saw of me, they didn’t notice the slight ticks every now and then, the swaying as my vision would begin not just to darken,  but sway and pulsate with strange colors. Or if they did, they were too polite to mention it to me.

Things were different when I was alone; I would let myself go and allow the darkness to surge forward from the back of my skull and begin to fill me up, i had nothing else to do, keeping it down was like trying to hold on to an electric fence. Sometimes the ‘episodes’, as I would later hear them referred to, were not particularly severe, i would just lie on my bed or the floor for a couple of minutes with a feint sense of falling. Te shadows in my head would sometimes even give me some time off from their tampering with my perception, weather there was a reason for this other than to simply build up their strength again for the next big hit I will never know, I just appreciated these days for what they were worth, and allowed myself to try and appear as a normal teenager, because i knew what was coming next would be almost the complete opposite.

After these days off it would be  much harder to control the shadows, as if they had upped their voltage. I would have to make yet another bullshit excuse to take the day of college whilst my parents both went off to work, and allow the insane carnival of madness to carry me away from my own body and bounce me around the inside of my skull.  Sometimes I would come up again an find myself sat on the tiled kitchen floor surrounded by candle wax melted into strange formations around me, like those crop circles people used to find in the 80’s. Sometimes it was blood on the floor. I would never remember anything I did whilst under, but the collection of ruler straight scars building into a dense lattice on my chest and stomach would usually have some fresh new additions, never deep but just nasty enough to leave feint pink lines trailing through the flesh. And this was just the start of something. Something much worse than anything from this universe could ever inflict on another living creature.

It was  a pretty normal day for me when the major event happened; I was going about my day when the darkness surged forwards with a strength i had never before experienced, I had no choice but to let it take control and fill my mind with ink. But this time was different. This time the thick blackness slammed into the backs off my eyes and just kept going, propelling my thoughts up and into another place beyond anything imaginable on a wave of pure dark, drawing shadows towards it as it surged forward and gaining yet more strength. I felt like there was no possible way that i could pull this back, my body would just be stuck there on the floor, alive but with no life. I would be taken to hospital where they would plug all sorts of leads into me and pump me full of chemicals i an attempt to bring me back. And I hate needles.

Fueled by this new pulse of fear I sort of jumped myself forwards and span round to face the darkness pushing me forwards, my head full of bold ideas for how to beat it back down into my subconscious or better yet, clean out of my head, but even then that seemed unlikely, and that’s before i saw what i was facing. The night sky, the parts between the stars, seems to be the most perfect darkness you could think of, but this smear was far worse. It didn’t just not reflect light, but seemed to collect it, I could feel it still drawing on the light from where my body lay and nullifying it, filling this void with its tendrils and polluting everything behind it. Looking down on this monstrosity I realized i had no hope of taming it, there was no way I could possibly stop it from finally taking me over completely. I took a weak swing for one of the arms which seemed small and it simply batted me away, into the swing of another, much larger one. This was when my life on earth ended, i was swept down and into the heart of this beast and felt myself falling through the universe itself. This is what death felt like, surely? But no, I slammed to a sudden stop on a large concave surface, it was like lying in the middle of a radar dish, but far more slippery  and there was a thin film of watery slime that clung to me then fell off in large, splashy globs.

I looked up and saw something that pumped ice through my heart. There was a huge pink mass suspended above me, behind a large glass dome that covered me. It flickered slightly and waves of tiny sparks occasionally traversed its wrinkled veined surface. It was clear after a second that this huge object was a brain. But, though a terrifying thought to begin with being trapped in ones own head, what i noticed above it was what really terrified me. The shadows had spread out and filled the space around the brain with their cloying grip, and they were beginning to force their way down, into the core of the system that  functions as the main control center of the brain.

A wave of darkness washed over me and i was knocked onto my front, face down in the gelatinous mess i was standing on. A thin sliver of light sliced through the space below me and it looked as if two shades were dragging their way open, revealing more and more of the life i used to live.

The shadow opened its eyes for the first time standing with a carving knife grasped in this rudimentary creatures fist. It took its first steps forward and left the house to find its companions.

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Nightmares

Please excuse the probably inexcusable mistakes in the grammar of this, but i’m writing this more to get these things out of my head and on to the computer, so that maybe, MAYBE they leave me alone and let me sleep. 99% of this is based on my experiences pretty much every time i try and sleep these days, bear that in mind. They don’t like me telling you about how they work, i can feel them watching, but i’m going to take that as a sign that it will help me somehow… so here goes.

Nightmares:

It starts off pretty much the same way every night, i go to sleep at a reasonable hour for any teenager after a suitable fill of the internet, adventure time and psychological literature, with the red light of my clock flooding the room with a quasi light, allowing me to discern shapes and outlines, but no details. That’s where the relative normalness ends. I usually ‘wake up’ again after what feels like seconds, but i can’t really tell, i look at the clock but it just seems to be displaying lights, no actual numbers that i can gain some form of bearing from, just staring over the room like a dead eye. Not only that but my matress feels like it has been filled with wet cement, I can move, but only just and it takes a great deal of effort. Even i know what is about to happen i wear myself out simply from trying to get out from underneath this gelatinous weight pressing down on my whole body. I start to panic, it feels like some sort of horrific reverse ketamine trip, rather than being out of my body, but able to control myself, I can simply watch from behind my own eyes as I struggle uselessly,, then i begin to look around the room.

They don’t like me  doing this… it’s scaring them for some reason, i can’t see them, but i can feel them, scraping and clawing at my neck, whispering in my ear.

The shadows in my room are usually abstract and indiscernible, like all shadow, but when i am in this state they just feel wrong for some reason, they seem too abstract, too unshapely. then i realize they are moving. Not fast to begin with, but just enough to be noticeable, changing shape slightly, seeming to be trying to break out of whatever is constraining them, i assume light levels or something but I’ve never thought about it too hard. Then one ‘breaks free’

they’re inside my head, tugging at my body from the inside, i don’t feel in control of myself any more but i know i have to keep fighting. for my own good. Its gone too far now to ever think about ending this. Unless I end everything. End my existence. And take the shadows with me.

Its small, like from a lamp or something on my desk, but it scuds across the wall to a large clean patch and just hangs there, undulating. Not just laterally anymore, but pushing in and out of the wall. Warping plaster and paint, and other shadows are being drawn towards it, like the dead heartbeat of a scepter. well, i say like. Others also begin to break free. Small still at this point. They form three, sometimes four or even five more of these hearts. They beat out of time for a while, before stopping and restarting in synchronization with each other, and twice as powerfully. Reaching out to me and cracking the paint as they push through from some other place.

That sounds like the best option at the moment. But they still wont let me. my clothes are the things filled with cement now. I can hardly move anymore., I am afraid to turn for fear of what is behind me, crawling over my skin. Breathing down my neck. I can’t reach a knife, or rope, and the window to jump from is completely out of the question. oh god i can’t move. I can’t move. no. I have to keep going.

the hearts are like little planets now. The pulsating permeates through the walls and i begin to see larger objects dragging at their restraints. breaking out and engulfing one of the cores, expanding it and giving it a more meaningful shape. After just a few seconds I realize what shapes they are creating. And I can do nothing to stop them. As more and more shadows drag across the wall, chipping paint and flaking plaster as they go, joining with the others it becomes clear that they are not just shadows anymore, but parts of a collection of wholes. They shape up as (usually) three black, human-esque figures, but only loosely. They have a distinguished top and bottom, a head and presumably something that could be called feel, but it looks more like the bottom hem of some sort of cloak.

I can hardly control them anymore. They are inside my whole being now,  not just my body but my mind. Images distort and memories shatter as i try and cling on to whatever is keeping me here. Keeping them from truly taking me to the other place.

Those are the only features i can work out at this point, everything between is simply a mass of darkness. Not a shadow anymore, but something else entirely. Shadows still have some sort of radiance to them. They are really a dark shade of grey. But not these shadows. They are not simply the absence of light, but the absence of any sort of substance at all, they seem to trap any passing light and hold it behind them. They have gone beyond darkness now to something much, much worse. Something i can’t understand, let alone describe through simple words. And still they are pulsating. Pressing. forcing the facade holding them back crumbles to dust, not in a dramatic manner, but completely silently. It seems as if these things can control anything, be anything, do anything they feel needs doing. They begin to walk towards me in long, stalking strides, covering the best part of two meters with every…

they don’t like me describing them, but it seems to be doing them harm somehow, their grip around me is loosening  the inky tendrils still stretch deep into my psyche, but their ends are beginning to fray, to release their grip. I think I may be OK soon if i can just. Keep. Going.

…step they take, until they have surrounded my bed. A solid wall of impenetrable darkness descends over my body as they lean in. I still don’t know what they are intending to do with me, but i know that death would be a true release from this terror. This unknowing horror of what is to come, but i find out soon enough. They lean closer and closer, at impossible angles now. But these creatures don’t function by our laws. They keep coming until they seem to be laying on the air just above me, all of them separate  yet somehow all in the same place, parallel with my body and directly above me. And they begin to descend.

they are LEAVING. their grip is relenting. slowly. but they are giving me back my life. the tiny kernel in the darkness that was me is growing again. Filling my body, and my mind again.

They enter my body and i can feel my life draining from me from the inside out, i feel this bed shall become my deathbed, but the feeling of hollowness only spreads until it is just under my skin. It never breaks the surface. I am no longer my own person any more, merely a consciousness trapped in the glass domes of these eyes. I can only watch as I lose control of myself entirely.

I had no hope. They have been within me since the first night. They permeate my existence and drive my mind round and round and round until i can no longer keep track of anything any more. I am forced to submit my life to this non existence  watching as they consume me, and my soul decays within an empty vessel. empty save for the darkness.